(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me:  “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”  (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother:  “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy:  “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother:  “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy:  “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”  (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy:  *sips* “Gotham is safe.”

chefboyardeezie:

banjo-jeff:

chefboyardeezie:

when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head

you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows

im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head

clearbay:

I LOVE ORDERING THINGS FROM ONLINE ITS LIKE SOMEONE SENT YOU A PRESENT BUT YOU SENT YOURSELF THAT PRESENT 

｡･ﾟ･ﾟʕﾟ>ᴥ<ʔ･ﾟ･｡